small pieces of joy

pieces of joy in each day


on August 12, 2014

So George isn’t the only one who is perfecting the public meltdown.

I’ve been working with my eye doctor for over six weeks to figure out the right contact prescription and brand. I’ve been going in almost once a week and after many tweaks and tries this week’s visit wasn’t any better.

As I sat down at the table after putting in my second trial pair for the day, I told her that it still wasn’t right. Then I started crying uncontrollably. Yes, there were sobs.

In between wiping the tears away and taking breaths I managed to explain that my dad had recently passed away and I was having a very hard time making any sort of decision. She stayed very composed, although at one point she did say I was going to make her cry. But in her doctor voice she asked if I had been crying a lot recently, and in my head I was saying “DUH” but to her I said, yes, about every day.

She then explained the science behind our tears and the tear film, which she said might be a little dry because of all the crying, which could affect how contacts felt on my eyes. That explains why nothing I tried felt right.

I calmed down a little, and we came up with a plan that would allow me to try two different prescriptions at home and then I could just call in when I’ve decided which ones I like. No more coming back. No more stress.

I left with a splotchy face, bloodshot eyes, accompanied with a slight smile. I was really embarrassed by my public emotional breakdown, but glad that I felt I was being heard and taken care of. I never thought Dad’s passing would affect picking out contacts.

But it affects everything.

Thankfully my doctor handled it with compassion and understanding. That’s all I ask for these days, since I feel like a hot mess ball of crazy.

So the next time you have a meltdown in public, remember you’re not the only one! 😉


2 responses to “meltdown

  1. Dr. Kansas says:

    I actually had a similar meltdown at the eye doctor’s office. About a month and a half before leaving for Australia, I had an eye appt to get contacts with me. The Dr remarked that she could see a film on the surface of my contact and casually asked if I had been having teary eyes lately. I was holding it together so well until she asked that, then I completely had a meltdown in her office over all the stress and anxiety I was going through. That poor doctor. At least she was very understanding and compassionate.

    You are certainly not alone in your public struggles 🙂 You will continue to be in my prayers Miss Kari! Love you much.


    • Kari says:

      I’m glad to know the eye doctor is a good spot for an emotional breakdown! It is a good reminder that we are all human and can’t have it together all the time, as much as we really want to. Thanks for sharing that story, it definitely helps me to not feel so alone!


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