small pieces of joy

pieces of joy in each day

heaven’s doors

on March 26, 2017

I am currently working on an art project and while I do creative things I love to listen to music.

I put my itunes playlist on random, just to see what comes up in my quite eclectic collection. Of course a song came up that I had completely forgotten about, but brought me to tears.

It’s by an artist named Sean McConnell who I happened upon years ago by searching for a song title and started listening to his music. I was hooked.

Anyway, this song hit me in such a powerful way, on many levels. In a little over a week it will be one year since my mother-in-law passed away. I’ve been physically feeling the anticipation, especially remembering back to last year and what was transpiring. So I’m extra emotional.

But the song speaks to more than that. It’s about how our loved ones are still around and we can still talk to them and share life with them. It takes a while to figure out the new relationship, though. As I was listening I was thinking about how I’m still working on that with Dad, and so I’m in the very beginning stages with my mother-in-law.

I just wanted to share this with anyone who might be feeling a little lost, missing someone they love, feeling alone like I still do sometimes.

May this song be a comfort to you as it is to me. Scroll down past the video and the lyrics are there.

Well, I found an old photograph of you
In some boxes that I thought were gone
And seeing your face made me replace
The notion that I had moved on

And it’s foolish to talk to a memory
But it helps me believe in a way
That I’m not crazy for asking you questions
And that you hear every word that I say

So I ask you what you would tell me
When I get to Heaven’s doors
And it could be the wind or the emotion I’m in
But I swear that you’ve answered before

And you said,
“I’ll tell you how proud I am of you
How you look just like your father
And how tall you have grown
And then I’ll hold you like I used to
How you slept on those long winter car rides from Boston to home
And then I’ll tell you that I love your music
Then I’ll say that the apple don’t fall far from the tree
Then I’ll tell you that you’ve done everything right
To become the man I knew you would be.”

And those words still echo inside me
Like a scream in a large, empty home
Where the things that are said come back from the dead
And times when you feel all alone

And so I hold on to them like a blanket
That I wrap around my confused heart
And it reminds me of phrases whispered inside me
That I should have known from the start

So I ask you what you would tell me
When I get to Heaven’s doors
And it could be the wind or the emotion I’m in
But I swear that you’ve answered before

And you said,
“I’ll tell you how proud I am of you
How you look just like your father
And how tall you have grown
And then I’ll hold you like I used to
How you slept on those long winter car rides from Boston to home
And then I’ll you that I love your music
Then I’ll say that the apple don’t fall far from the tree
Then I’ll tell you that you’ve done everything right
To become the man I knew you would be.

And then I’ll tell you that you’ve done everything right
To become the man I knew you would be.”

 

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: