small pieces of joy

pieces of joy in each day

memorial

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a reflection on our memorial service on the one year anniversary of Dad’s passing. 

Last week at this time I was in Chicago waiting to take a train back to South Bend from my quick trip to KC. It is hard to put into words how the weekend was, but I know it was exactly what needed to happen.

Friday evening we gathered at the cemetery with a few family members and friends to pray and remember the life of my dearly missed father. It was a beautiful night with a slight breeze and colorful sky. Around the gravesite we stood, some sitting in lawn chairs or on blankets, all with thoughts of Dad in our minds.

We began by praying the Divine Mercy Chaplet, which was the prayer we prayed only minutes before Dad took his last breath. This prayer brought us so much peace in that moment, and ever since. Knowing that Jesus greeted Dad as the Merciful Savior makes me so thankful that we were able to help give Dad a holy death, which I didn’t think existed.

We sang the Salve Regina, which is a prayer that is so close to my heart. It is often sung at the end of the day, right before going to sleep. How perfect that it was a prayer we prayed before Dad fell asleep in this life and awoke again in Heaven.

Following the prayers we sang the song “Hymn Song” by Utah Phillips. That song has become our family’s theme song throughout our journey with Dad and it will always remind me of him and his love for his family. I believe if I lived my life again I’d still be here with you.

During all of this I was feeling a wave of peace sweep over me. As I knelt next to Dad’s grave I didn’t really feel like crying. I just felt comfortable there, knowing that Dad was with us and proud of the memorial we were giving him.

To leave on a happier note, we sang and danced to one of Dad’s favorite camp songs, ‘Alice the Camel’. I’m pretty sure the people driving down the road next to the cemetery had to do a double take when they saw us dancing! It was a perfect end to our tribute to Dad. A nice balance of serious and fun!

It was so wonderful to get hugs from friends and family who have been supporting us throughout the journey. Talking with people and feeling their love for us and Dad was just the medicine I needed. I am hopeful that the memorial was a helpful tool for those who came, because it definitely was for me.

My hope is that this can be a ritual we do each year, whether we are all together or not. The great thing about prayer and song is that you can be united no matter where you are physically. I know there were many who were unable to be there with us last Friday, but were praying and singing along.

Especially Dad.

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friday

Seven Quick Takes for Friday

1–We received some sad news yesterday. Dad’s tumor has grown even under intense treatment. We have decided to stop treatment in order to improve quality of life. I’m still processing what all this means, but in the meantime I’m leaning on the love expressed in texts, facebook messages, etc. If I’ve learned anything during this trial it is “say something, do something” whenever someone is going through difficulty. It’s in feeling alone when our thoughts and worries can run wild.

2–I couldn’t sleep last night so I stayed up video chatting with my middle brother. It was calming, relaxing, and almost like we were in the same room. I need to send a personal note to the creator of video chatting and thank him or her from the bottom of my heart for making being away from family a little easier.

3–While I’m writing personal notes, I need to add the creator of spotify on that list. I have been listening to Mumford and Sons a lot lately, without having to pay for it. This makes this stay at home mom, wife of a graduate student very happy!

4–I watched View from the Top the other day, compliments of Netflix. I really love simple comedies, especially of the romantic variety. Just another guilty pleasure of mine. I really hope they bring back the plethora of ABC family Christmas movies in December…

5–I’m really enjoying the fact that my little one is sleeping through the night and taking long naps during the day. I sometimes get annoyed at the people on facebook who boast of their 3 week old sleeping through the night, but I have to realize that no matter when it happens, it is something to celebrate!

6–I’ve made a cleaning calendar. Yes…I spent the time I was supposed to clean making a cleaning schedule. Anyway, it sets out a few tasks to do each day so cleaning is not ever overwhelming. I plan to start today, but we’ll see if that happens. The best laid plans for me sometimes lack follow-through. I’m hoping this will work though!

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7–My brother mentioned he had prayed the Chaplet of Divine Mercy for Dad the other day. This prayer is said with the aid of a rosary and has a very powerful focus on mercy. If you feel the tug to pray with us, please do. Here is a link to the information on how to pray the chaplet and the prayers. Any way you can pray for a peaceful transition for my dad is greatly appreciated. 

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Thanks for reading my quick takes. I will try very hard to find some small things in the coming weeks. 

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